True North: Finding Your Center and Staying on Your Path

Ruminations on 40

So, I'm turning 40 this week.

I've never subscribed to the idea that I should live my life in a specific way, or that being a certain age necessarily predicts or prescribes any notable things, but I thought it would be fun to mark the occasion with some type of ritual. After some consideration, I decided a virtual time capsule would be interesting: a glimpse back into what life was like in March of 1970.

So, I went digging. Close your eyes, and let's travel back...

Musically, The Beatles were still together (well, for a few more weeks, at least). Floating through the air, you might hear “Let It Be,” John's “Instant Karma,” Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” and “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)” by Sly & the Family Stone. Jimi Hendrix released a live Band of Gypsys album. Miles Davis released “Bitches Brew”. Jerry Lewis, Don Ho, Roger Miller, Flip Wilson and Wayne Newton were playing Vegas. Woo hoo, what a time!

The cover of GQ magazine noted the trends in men's fashion with a "garden of sartorial delights in psychedelic hues". If only the trend had continued, my friends!

The movie documentary "Woodstock" was released. See if you remember any of these other popular films from 1970: Airport, M*A*S*H, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, Love Story, Two Mules for Sister Sara, Five Easy Pieces, and the Owl and the Pussycat.

How about cable TV? Hee Haw, the Beverly Hillbillies, Hawaii Five-O, The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and the Courtship of Eddie’s Father were all big hits.

In the news… well, the Vietnam War was still waging strong. The US lowered the voting age from 21 to 18. The US postal service was on strike and President Nixon ordered the National Guard & Reserves to start delivering the mail, which didn’t go so well. San Fran mayor Alioto proclaimed March 21 (the Spring Equinox) the very first Earth Day. Four days later, on March 25, the Concorde made its first Supersonic flight. And it was on this day that I arrived as well.

(As an interesting side note, the 25th of March is also the traditional Feast of the Annunciation, and when the calendar system of Anno Domini was first introduced by Dionysius Exiguus in AD 525, he assigned the beginning of the new year to March 25, since according to Christian theology, the era of grace began with the Incarnation of Christ. It was that way until the adoption of the Gregorian calendar in 1752. But I digress...)

I've taken a moment this week to write down a few things (in no particular order) that I've managed to learn along my journey (of 40 trips around the sun) so far. Take what you will…

1. Age is only a number.
2. Don't trust your government. Or corporations. Trust yourself.
3. No one cares about your health as much as you do. Read and educate yourself, and get second opinions.
4. Exercise!
5. Don't eat junk food or fast food.
6. A good album, or a great book, will be a friend for life.
7. Be kind to the planet. Be kind in general.
8. Be nice to animals.
9. Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll drive yourself bazonkers.
10. Fall in love! Love and be loveable.
11. Be present. Be here now.
12. Be silly.
13. Stay in touch with your friends. Phone them every so often just to say "hi".
14. Don't be afraid of change or conflict. With both comes learning and growth.
15. Don't worry what others think. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else.
16. Age doesn't guarantee wisdom.
17. Never stop challenging yourself and trying new things.
18. Laugh every day.
19. Eat the batter left in the bowl when baking cookies.
20. Walk barefoot in the Summertime.
21. Run through rain showers even though you will get soaked.
22. Marvel at fireflies, seahorses, dragonflies, grasshoppers and cocoons. See the world with eyes of wonder.
23. Lie on the ground and stare up a clouds and stars. What do you see?
24. Do kartwheels in the backyard.
25. Watch Bugs Bunny.
26. Color and paint and make collages. See possibilities.
27. Handwrite letters to faraway friends.
28. Remember, this too shall pass.
29. Change your world by changing your thoughts.
30. Write poetry.
31. Sing songs! Sing loud! Sing strong!
32. Dance.
33. Cook! Invent new dishes, and name them after yourself. Use wine.
34. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not necessary, and not worth it.
35. Have no regrets. Know that you are who you are meant to be, where you are meant to be, and everything (yes, everything) in your life has led you to this moment.
36. Breathe.
37. Meditate.
38. Encourage children.
39. Follow your dreams. No matter what.
40. Be yourself. Always.

Cheers!

Tiffany

True North: Finding Your Center and Staying on Your Path

My 3Ps: Positive thinking, Perseverance, and being Present

One of the things I keep being reminded of in life is that no matter what the situation, whether a job search, raising a child, a disagreement with another, an overwhelming project, a difficult goal or anything else you experience, you will benefit from these three things which I have termed the 3Ps: the power of your Positive thoughts, Persevering and being in the Present moment.

Those who know me and/or follow this blog might know that I'm in the midst of a career transition & job search; that I've been promoting our band, Inner Gypsy for several years; and that I'm a runner, training for a 15K race this Summer. In each of these endeavors, several times I have hit the proverbial "wall" - that place where you get so frustrated at your results that you slow down, check out, and/or feel like giving up. Life's tough, no doubt about it. But in each of these endeavors, the 3Ps have made a big difference for me on how I perceive and move forward with my challenges.

I'll illustrate these points using my career search. In the last six months, I have given serious consideration to my experience and talent in discerning the capacity of work I'd be best suited for at this stage of my life. I have applied to dozens of positions. I have been on several interviews; I have networked with my phone and rolodex and with my social media tools; I have reformatted and jazzed up my resume; and I have written countless cover letters and done research on myriad companies. In fact, as I write this, I am waiting to hear back from a company I really connected with and would like the opportunity to work for, to call me back with their choice (I am one of three finalists).

One might say that I am no closer to my goal than I was when I began, because I haven't been hired yet. There are folks out there on job boards and radio shows saying things like, "The economy is so bad, do whatever you can to get hired, it's every man (or woman) for himself", "Take whatever job you can get, be willing to compromise your standards and take less money", and even "You must be ready for any question they may ask you, no matter how odd."

This type of thinking promotes anxiety, and if you embrace it there is no amount of preparation or work you do which you will consider "enough". It's also not a healthy way to live.

Now, I'm not afraid of work, and believe me when I tell you, I put a lot of time and sincere effort into my job search. I have job-bots set up to email me whenever key words are posted in my geographic area; I research, write, apply, converse, convince, rehearse, network, call, practice, and keep a log of my activities. And sometimes when I speak with colleagues who are also in this transition, or who are fearful that the jobs they currently hold will soon end, they ask me how I can be so positive. The answer is twofold.

First, know that I'm not a Pollyanna who walks around with a smile on her face all the time, and I sure have my moments of doubt and fear, just like anyone. But, secondly and most importantly, I don't dwell there. I feel the feeling and move on, and so I perform each of the tasks I describe above simply to that task's end, as honestly and completely as I can. Then, I feel good about my efforts, continue to push forward and do the best I can.

Much of this attitude is the result of some recent personal work I have done in the area of being present in the moment. In this practice, we do not bring our past into the current moment, and we do not project the future into the present moment. We are simply present. This concept, while simple, has taken me a long time to assimilate into my reality. I have spent most of my life asking "What if", unable to stop myself from imagining what might be or dwelling on what might have been. But recently I have discovered that when I notice myself doing either of those things, I can simply refocus my attention on the present and all the anxiety slips away and I am able to just be. The more I practice it, the easier and more natural it becomes. And, I'm sure the people I spend time with appreciate the fact that I am present in the moment with them, and not off in another place in my head.

I also have lived long enough to know that often, when something occurs that seems like a real setback (for instance, getting turned down for a job), that it can actually turn out to be a positive occurrence (the company goes out of business, or you land a better offer elsewhere - both of these things have happened to me). Also, there is power in 'failure': we learn to ask for help, to consider alternatives, to adapt our thinking, to stop doing things that don't work!

If we don't push forward, we don't learn and grow. If I didn't continue running when I was tired, my legs ached and I was gasping for air, I wouldn't be able to now run as far and as fast as I can. This makes me healthier. If I didn't continue promoting my band, I wouldn't have the experience of all the people who approach me and say they enjoy our show and our songs, and that feels great! With perseverance comes achievement. With achieving difficult things comes confidence. With confidence comes a positive attitude. It's all connected.

Therefore, my advice is don't fret, my friends. Yes, the world is screwy and the economy isn't great and there are bad people out there doing bad things. So what? Worry doesn't get you anywhere. Positive thinking, on the other hand, does. It promotes self-confidence, it makes for a better experience, and it helps you connect and communicate with other like-minded individuals.

So, the next time you feel like giving up or giving in, take heart in the knowledge that the struggle you're going through has been experienced in some form or another by everyone. You're not alone, and if you keep moving, even slowly, in the direction of your dreams, you're making progress.

I leave you with a Norman Vincent Peale quote, "Lots of people limit their possibilities by giving up easily. Never tell yourself 'this is too much for me. It's no use. I can't go on.' If you do, you're licked, and by your own thinking too. Keep believing and keep on keeping on. "

Untying the Knots

Singing, Running, and Aging

The few short years which arrived so rapidly after reaching fifty, had me believing that I was finally catching up to that thing which, all of my life, I had been told to act– my age. And when you do start to be "your age," then each year you begin to notice that you are slightly older still. But despite the fact that "aging" is only the third mentioned aspect in the title of this essay, it is rapidly becoming the one which guides the progress of the other two.

Aging tends to diminish the flexibility in the cartilage of the voice box and in all the bones of the body. But some people can maintain youthful sounding voices into their eighties or nineties, while others start to sound older by forty or fifty. Equally, I have known people who remained athletic until far older than I am now, whereas others became stiff and tired and unable to jump and run whilst still relatively young.

So there I was, past my half century mark, and it looked like I was on my way down. I was starting to lose much of my athletic ability, I was running less and less, my workout schedules had become farther and farther apart, and to crown it all I couldn't sing my old songs anymore because they were too high. Worse than that, my attempts to continue singing those high notes led to a painful sensation in my throat, not only when I was singing, but also when I was speaking under normal conditions. It was making it impossible to perform my music, and uncomfortable to simply communicate verbally. Fortunately for me, I married a younger woman who, through her faith in me and through the example of her own strength of will, convinced me that I shouldn't allow this belief in my own old age to sabotage these years which could, if I so desired, become my strongest ones yet.

It occurred to me, that perhaps, somewhere along the line, I had had a hand in my own deterioration, and that possibly this loss that I was experiencing was not at all inevitable. Maybe I was getting weaker because I simply wasn't working out as much, or in the right way. Perhaps my voice troubles were a result of some bad practice that I had picked up, and that in both cases there was some technique that I had understood when I was younger, but had now forgotten.

But how could it be, I wondered, that there was something that I had understood before, but couldn't now. Yes, as we get older we tend to get lazier... we have less to prove, we are less and less locked within the "drama of the gifted child"– but I could not accept that we become less intelligent. The one thing that age has going for it, surely, is wisdom, isn't it? Well, I decided to use that hard earned wisdom to remind myself that now might be a good time to seek help for what I could not figure out on my own.

About a year ago I found a voice coach and, at the same time, started running and working out on a more regular basis. This process has not yet gotten me back to the point that I am seeking, but I can say, in all honesty, that today I am a younger man than I was a year ago, and my goal within the next year is to continue to travel a significant distance in the direction of my youth. As I have been diligently following these two simultaneous paths of voice and movement, I have reminded myself of something that I knew years ago but had, for a while, forgotten: that singing and running are like two sides of the same coin. They are metaphors for each other in a myriad of ways, and the similarities which they possess are the clues to their function and usage.

The first and most obvious similarity, of course, is breathing. Both activities require the correct use of diaphragmatic breathing.

The term diaphragmatic breathing comes, obviously, from the diaphragm, which is a membrane located above the stomach and below the lungs. It pops upward when you breathe out, and downward when you breathe in to allow the bottom of the lungs to fill with air. In order for it to do that, we must get the belly out of the way by distending it. I have had several Yoga instructors tell me to breathe into the stomach. And though it may feel like you are doing that, actually you are simply allowing the diaphragm to move out of the way of the bottom of the lungs so that they can fill completely. The lungs do not go down any lower than the rib cage does– but go ahead, breathe into the "stomach" for that is indeed what it feels like; the old military style breathing up into the chest, which we were all taught in phys ed as children, doesn't really achieve much in the way of getting more air into the lungs, but if you can learn to expand the ribcage outward and toward the back, that will help.

We don't want to constrict the belly by making the upper stomach muscles too rigid. Don't worry about that perfect flat belly, efficient breathing requires a little roundness to the belly, and therefore so does running… and singing. But we do need to support our posture by using the lower stomach muscles. Now, It can be difficult to isolate the lower muscles of the stomach from the uppers, but by tilting the pelvis forward we can start to feel where the lowers are working. Most people know how to do this when dancing or having sex. Some American males are not used to this movement…they see it as effeminate. In other parts of the world, Brazil for example, it is considered very macho. I say, it's just a body movement, get over it!

Another way to get familiar with these muscles is to clench the sphincter or the glutes (the ass muscles). But having said all of this, I'd suggest you do not concentrate too hard on the details of which muscles you are using, it is more about "feeling" like you are breathing fully and comfortably in a way that is supported by your center.

I often find myself getting too caught up in the technical details of what I'm doing, and when that happens I lose my spontaneity. For both singing and running it is important to feel strength and support coming from that pelvic/lower stomach area, from the glutes and even the upper thighs. I have heard voice teachers tell students to sing "from the balls." I can only assume that what they meant was the same thing that I am talking about. So with the hope that women reading this will not take my masculine metaphor too literally I shall advise runners to also "run from the balls."

Now again, these are not fixed positions we are talking about– in fact the complete opposite is true. In both singing and running we need strength and flexibility. We don't want to be locked into either state, but maintain the ability to move from one position to the other easily and naturally. Both disciplines benefit from our ability to suspend judgment of the outcome and instead concentrate more on our process. If we do it right, the speed will come, the high notes will come… do not push.

But what does "push" mean?

When we are "pushing" we are not doing too much of the right thing, we are actually doing the wrong thing. We are using muscles that don't really do anything, and sometimes actually block the movement of the muscles we need for the activity in which we are involved. This is why relaxation is so important. To quote the Hippocratic oath, "first do no harm." The relaxed body is more likely to be able to isolate the muscles it needs for a specific purpose and not get them all tangled up with other muscles which just get in the way.

When singing or when running in a healthy way, we will not feel harshness associated with the process. We will feel buoyant and pain free, controlled but flexible. My present voice teacher, W. Stephen Smith, describes correct voice control as feeling like a ping-pong ball spinning in place on a current of air at the back of the throat. It is that effortless, it feels like… nothing. Well, maybe not completely nothing, there is a sensation, but a very pleasant one. Smooth and slippery. More like a sophisticated Mercedes hydraulic suspension than the leaf springs on a Jeep.

Which, again, is the perfect metaphor for running– shock absorbers. If you can hear your feet slamming into the sidewalk with every step, then you are hurting yourself. But if you feel like you are in the center of a wheel which is just rolling down the street, you can hardly hear your own footsteps and running becomes a pleasure.

By using the heel and toe method this pleasurable process can be achieved. First learn to walk by placing your heel on the ground and rolling the foot toward the front, as if it were a small arc of a large circle, and then push off with the toe. Now, once you are walking this way simply speed up maintaining the same process, and as you get faster you will find that you are running. Remember to be centered in that pelvic area. Remember to allow the pelvis to "rotate" in a fluid way. Use the thigh muscles to control your movements and place the feet where you want them. Allow the body to dip just slightly by bending the knee as each leg takes up the weight of the body– just like the suspension on your car. Do not fling your body through the air, your weight should be balanced and capable of changing direction easily if necessary. With each step there is a tightening and relaxation of the muscles in opposition to each other. Nothing is only relaxed. Nothing is only tensed.

Do not change this technique as you speed up, let your breathing take you to the next level– not your body posture. And just as importantly, do not change your technique as you slow down. When we get tired we need to slow down, and because running slowly is easier than running fast we tend to let our technique get sloppy as we decelerate.

Similarly in singing, find the lightest and least pressured way to sing low, and then move up the scale using the same technique. It should feel just as easy to sing high as it does to sing low if you allow the breathing to get you up there and not the contortion of the lower tongue muscles. And again, when coming down don't get sloppy just because it's easier down there. If you get stuck in a bad technique down low you won't be able to get high again.

Of course, with both singing and running, ultimately you are not thinking technique whilst you are involved in the process. Although at first we do need to learn these things slowly because they do seem incredibly unnatural at first. It is simply not the way we have been used to doing them. When I do my vocal exercises each day I often feel like Helen Keller learning how to talk. I don't want anyone to hear me or see me in my agonizing frustratedly over correct process. But somehow in the previous five years or so I have "trained" myself to force certain tongue muscles to do the most painful things when I sing and talk, and like some victim of childhood abuse, my primal mind seeks that self abuse because it cannot imagine a pain free existence.

What we need then, is to find that comfortable feeling, which is the correct posture for our activity, to which we can go immediately without thinking about it, which will be our voice… our stride.

As far as aging goes: ditto all of the above. Let's face it, these metaphors don't just apply to singing and running, but to every aspect of life. We need to know the correct techniques for doing things, but then we need to get out of our heads and just do them– we need to be in the moment. All the old clichés are true… life is what you make of it no matter how long you keep on living, be here now. Youth and age are not separated by a line but are connected by merging into one another. We are neither old nor young, we are neither strong nor weak, we are neither good nor bad, but all those things rolled into one. Try to see yourself as you really are, and without judgment. Just keep on living no matter what, and keep on receiving the fruits that life has to offer because there is no time– future or past– like the present.

True North: Finding Your Center and Staying on Your Path

Manifesting and Magical Thinking

There has been a lot of talk lately about Manifesting. Oprah does it. "The Secret" has been a bestseller for years. And each day, my inbox is teeming with offers to manifest my dreams (not to mention a new BMW in the driveway) in 90 days or less. Seems too good to be true? I know, which is why I decided to delve into the details.

Let me begin by saying I'm wary of magical thinking - you know, the belief in the ability of the mind to affect the physical world. The reason I raise an eyebrow every time it is mentioned is because, as a teenager, I was diagnosed with OCD (for me, the dark side of magical thinking). For many years, I tortured myself with counting rituals- believing that if I didn't do them, something bad would happen. Some believe OCD is caused by a chemical imbalance, some say it's a coping mechanism to deal with a world seemingly out of control. I've come to believe it is both. Dr. Daniel Amen, in his book, "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" explains how the pathways in our brain are shaped by our thinking - and he tells us how we can alter our own brain chemistry with the foods we eat, the amount of exercise we get, and yes - the thoughts we have. Interesting, isn't it? By focusing repeatedly on certain thoughts, we can alter our own brain chemistry. Perhaps, then, by focusing repeatedly on positive thoughts, we can alter our chemistry in a way that benefits us?

Most of us acknowledge that there are currents moving outside our everyday conscious perception which we do not fully understand, forces which have the power to affect our lives. We have all heard the stories about twins who can sense what the other is feeling, the laying on of hands which have cured people of terrible illnesses, clairvoyants who are very successful with their predictions, even cats with an internal GPS who find their way home over thousands of miles. I do believe that there's a large part of the human (and animal) brain which remains relatively untapped.

In books such as "The Celestine Prophesy" (James Redfield), "The Artist's Way" (Julia Cameron), and "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life" (Wayne Dyer), the authors encourage the reader to believe that positive change will indeed come if we simply put forth our intent. They ask us to pay attention to synchronicity and coincidence, and to believe that forces will come to our aid. They instruct us not to push, not to force, but to follow our intuition and be present.

In my career transition, I'd like to believe in this power of intention. I want to believe that if I state, "Universe, I'd like to work in a creative capacity where am giving something of value back to the world, where I am connected to my community, where I feel fulfilled, and where I make a comfortable living doing so", the universe will begin moving to make this happen. All I need to do from there is to be open to how this will manifest and follow the signs.

But a tiny voice in the back of my head whispers, "Are you sure about this? What if it doesn't work? Should you put all your eggs in this basket?"

My solution to this is simple. While I am stating my intent and following my intuition, I am also meditating, rewriting my resume, exercising, networking, getting enough sleep, researching career and education options, eating well, reaching out to friends for advice and support, and applying for positions which will bring me closer to the work that I want to do. As my husband says, if you're sitting on the couch and you want to manifest a beer, the best way to do that is to get up, walk into the kitchen, open the fridge and pull out a beer. I do believe that the universe helps those who help themselves.

As we all know, this society is jam-packed full of quick fixes: diets which require no exercise, pills to fix everything from bad breath to restless leg syndrome, and junk food for $1 ready in 60 seconds flat. Consumers suck this stuff up faster than it can be churned out. So, of course it would follow that some folks got the idea to sell cheap manifestation over the internet with money back guarantees. Let the old adage ring in our minds: caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. That doesn't necessarily mean all manifesting is unreliable. We should discern the potentially helpful from the decidedly phony.

Let us go ahead and allow a bit of "magic" into our lives! For, what is magic other than a way of shifting our focus and motivating ourselves? Give it a try - think of something that you would like to manifest in your life. Put a picture of it in your office to remind you. Then, live your life, follow your intuition, and see what happens next. I'd like to hear what kinds of experiences result from this - positive and negative. Because, I believe that our collective bodies and our psyches need to slow down a bit. We need to relax. Breathe. Meditate. Go for a run. Do some yoga. Just be. Without the myriad distractions we fill our days with, who knows what things we might be able to accomplish? I, for one, am willing to try.

I leave you with a quote which has been attributed to Goethe in Faust, "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

True North: Finding your Center and Staying on Your Path

What Now?

Like so many others, I was laid off last year. After climbing the corporate ladder at a well-known NYC-based company for over ten years, playing the model employee, working to distinguish myself, swatting away the pettiness and the politics, and building a successful portfolio, the senior management changed direction and I was systematically "de-hired".

Now, I have seen this transition as a huge blessing from the very beginning, for a number of reasons. This job was one that I took when, as a young single lady in my late 20's, I moved from Woodstock to Manhattan with dreams of working in the music business. I found out quickly that those MTV and Arista Records jobs weren't plentiful and didn't pay well and so, having to cough up the dough for my new 6th Floor walk-up studio rental, I accepted a job in the fashion world. Like Andy Sachs in The Devil Wears Prada (2006), I was working in an industry I didn't feel a connection with, in a job I didn't find fulfilling, with a number of self-centered people (not all, mind you) who only cared about the next promotion. My true calling has always been more personal and creative– writing and performing music, and psychological and sociological counseling have been the two areas that have always beckoned me from (seemingly) afar.

During the last nine months I have been lucky enough to pursue pastimes I love, including traveling (a delightful month in Europe with my husband), reconnecting with old pals, strengthening bonds with my dearest friends, completing projects around the house (a bathroom remodel), and engaging in more creative endeavors, like building my flute repertoire, learning to play guitar, writing more songs, and organic gardening in my backyard.

While this professional status change was a blessing and an opportunity, it's also a frightening transition. Because, you see, I am a different person. And I cannot go backwards. I am unable to fathom the idea of practicing my previous profession in the type of corporate environment that I left. And, while I am clear about that, I'm unclear about what's next. I was very good at my work and I took a fair amount of personal satisfaction from that knowledge. I made a great salary, which allowed us a comfortable lifestyle. But I can't sacrifice my spirit to the paycheck any longer.

Over the past few months, I've tried to force fit my return to the workplace. I have gone on several interviews with corporations who wished to hire me in my old capacity as a Purchasing Director. I found each of these experiences stifling, controlling and terrifying. On one occasion I was told that I would need to take a drug test as a condition of hire. On another I was told that if I could start the very next day then I would get the job but if I could not then they would hire the other candidate. What? Do we really live in a world where people (under the cloak of a corporation) can push other people around this way? And, do we really have to take it?

No, we don't. We each carve our own reality, and mine sure as hell is not going back to a place where employees are abused. Many pundits talk about how bad our economy is, and how any of us unemployed should take the first thing that comes up and feel lucky to have it. But I refuse to make these important decisions from a place of fear. And, I'm lucky enough to have a husband who supports me in this choice.

At this point, I've begun to realize that I can't force myself back into a situation that I've outgrown. There is a level of stress and pressure I feel to 'figure this out', to determine what I am qualified to do, what I would be good at, what would be fulfilling, and to get it 100% right and do it quickly because the mortgage isn't going to pay itself.

I have done enough personal work to know that good decisions do not come from a frenetic, stressed mind. So, I have tried to slow down, and have been meditating, journaling and listening to my dreams and my intuition to determine my calling. I'm also keeping an open mind regarding what that calling will be, because, you see, it would be very easy to discount any of them which involve going back to school (too expensive), volunteering (too time consuming), and starting from scratch (not enough income).

For now, I must admit, I do not know what is next. There is a freeing and a release of breath in the not knowing. The most important thing I have learned thus far is to stay in the moment. I am not bringing bad experiences of the past to my new life, and I am not projecting fear about the future into the present moment, I am taking each and every situation anew. So, will I pursue arts therapy? Mediation? Writing? Opening a cafe? I don't know. But I do know that, whatever I choose to do, it will be far more authentic and fulfilling than the work I was performing one year ago. And, for that, I feel blessed.

Welcome

Welcome to our new blog.

Here, we hope to inform, inspire, educate, entertain, infuriate, and challenge your sense of what is, and what might be– and we hope you'll do the same for us. We'll speak frankly about our hopes, fears, dreams, struggles, ideas, opinions, failures and successes. We will try our best to be objective, but being human, we will probably let our biases show from time to time.

You can expect posts on everything from music to politics, the environment to comedy, the creative process to the dumbing down of modern culture, with forays into travel, exercise, eating, drinking, shopping and fashion (do we really need it? Lady Gaga says yes).

Rather than create a blog specifically for Inner Gypsy (the band), or Great God Bongo (the religion), we opted to create this all encompassing blog to show a behind-the-scenes look at how or why these things came to exist and continue to expand and grow. There is not a business model behind this idea, but a human model– that is to say we're in this for a sense of community and camaraderie which will help us all to understand each other better, and make more constructive decisions regarding the world in which we live.

Having said that, let us end with the one about the man who goes into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Do you have 5-foot tall penguins in this town?" The bartender answers, "Why, no." "In that case," says the man, "I think I just ran over a nun!"

All aboard, the train is leaving the station...